Some may wonder if I also stick to my principles with things like monsters, ghosts, and all that go bump in the night. Absolutely. If my son comes to me afraid of monsters in his room, what does it really do for me to say they don't exist? If I say, there is nothing to be afraid of, monsters don't exist. It does a number of things. It invalidates what he is feeling, it may cut off communication about monsters between us, and it definitely doesn't let him work through what he is feeling and problem solve. Just because monsters don't exist in my reality (most of the time) it doesn't mean they aren't real to him, even if I tell him they aren't real, he will probably continue on being afraid of them.
Instead, I choose to empower him to take care of the problem. I reassure him that Mommy and Daddy are here to protect him. I also ask him what he thinks will help make them go away. I let him come up with a resolution. This not only teaches him that we, as parents, are hear to listen to him, it also teaches him that him can do something to solve his problems and be in charge of his environment. This is a far greater and more important thing to teach than to simply be the authority on all that is real. That is not what I am here for. I am here to guide my child. I am here to make him strong in self and strong of mind. No one is an authority on life. Reality is just a collection of what everyone accepts as true. I always try to remember that I have not experienced everything and just because my son is younger, it does not mean he is any less of a person or that what he is feeling is invalid because most accept it as untrue.
I choose to let him experience the greatest gift he has been given - his childhood. I choose to allow his mind to develop naturally. This is not lying to him. This is preparing him. Why would I rush him? So he can think like an adult?
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