Choosing Childhood

Some may wonder if I also stick to my principles with things like monsters, ghosts, and all that go bump in the night. Absolutely. If my son comes to me afraid of monsters in his room, what does it really do for me to say they don't exist? If I say, there is nothing to be afraid of, monsters don't exist. It does a number of things. It invalidates what he is feeling, it may cut off communication about monsters between us, and it definitely doesn't let him work through what he is feeling and problem solve. Just because monsters don't exist in my reality (most of the time) it doesn't mean they aren't real to him, even if I tell him they aren't real, he will probably continue on being afraid of them.

Instead, I choose to empower him to take care of the problem. I reassure him that Mommy and Daddy are here to protect him. I also ask him what he thinks will help make them go away. I let him come up with a resolution. This not only teaches him that we, as parents, are hear to listen to him, it also teaches him that him can do something to solve his problems and be in charge of his environment. This is a far greater and more important thing to teach than to simply be the authority on all that is real. That is not what I am here for. I am here to guide my child. I am here to make him strong in self and strong of mind. No one is an authority on life. Reality is just a collection of what everyone accepts as true. I always try to remember that I have not experienced everything and just because my son is younger, it does not mean he is any less of a person or that what he is feeling is invalid because most accept it as untrue.

I choose to let him experience the greatest gift he has been given - his childhood. I choose to allow his mind to develop naturally. This is not lying to him. This is preparing him. Why would I rush him? So he can think like an adult?

The World Still Needs its Dreamers

It seems like parents want their children to forgo their childhood and understand and experience things like adults do sooner than ever. Children need to be children. A child's mind is a beautiful mix of reality and the impossible all rolled into one. A child will see things with open eyes and wonder, whereas an adult will see things with eyes of disbelief and closed doors. The world needs people who believe anything and everything is possible. Ingenuity, innovation and pure genius does not come from being told not to think and believe things. It comes from believing it is possible and figuring out how it is done. Don't tell my child what he thinks, believes and experiences in his eyes is untrue, false, silly or anything else negative. The world is full of this. I want my child to have a childhood of possibilities mixed in with the impossible ones.

I foster my children's beliefs, interests and child like nature. It is not my job to crush his beliefs. It is my job to let him search for himself and what he knows to be true. If he thinks he will get bitten by a spider and have abilities like Spiderman, so be it. I teach my kids to believe in what they want and I am here to support them. I do not crush their dreams and beliefs and tell them things are not real. I support them and their quest for knowledge. My kid will be better because he believes in things and that anything is possible. The people that succeed know the world only has the limits that people put on them and others.

Stealing or Sharing?

You can determine how well (or not) you have been teaching your 3 year old about sharing by trying to sneak a bite of his food and getting caught. Luckily I have passed the test.

As I reached for Caedan's pop tart and took a bite, he suddenly turned around. His reaction? Thanks for taking a bite of my pop tart, Mom! Now we shared!

Whew.

Ice Cream Anyone?

Would you be suspicious of your neighbor if the ice cream man visited daily? I mean stopped in front of his house, 45 year old man waiting at the door, who comes right out, transaction occurs and then he says see you tomorrow? Nah, I didn't think it was either. Not sketchy in the least. I figure he has a scheduled pig out time right after he hits the gym. That must be it. I'm sure.

You know you have a 3 year when...

There comes a time when you forget that people around you probably think what you just said or what your preschooler just did is completely odd. I have long since reached that.

I have recently been heard saying things like: Spiderman, are you ok?!, when my kid falls, without giving it a second thought. Repeatedly saying dun de dun! Not to mention knowing exactly what an odd mumble means.

I have also come to recognize that I will get odd looks because my son likes to greet everyone we pass with devil horns. In all actuality, he is Spiderman and trapping them in a web. However, Spiderman uses the I love you symbol. This is too hard for a 3 year old so mine rocks on in style.

Looks from teens are the best, because they have never "been there."

No matter what, I love my kid and at least he isn't giving people the finger. Yet.

I am So Blessed.

I love my boys. I am so happy that they get along well. Of course, we haven't reached a stage where they have to compete for toys and such. However, Caedan is proving to be a sweet, caring, loving older brother. He doesn't want to go anywhere without his brother. He is always concerned about what Cove is doing and what he needs. I look forward to seeing their relationship grow and blossom.

Pain with a Purpose

Pregnancy connects you to something powerful. You might not realize it at the time, but your body is so connected to God and love. It fills you and consumes you. In the following months, it is hard to let go of that feeling. Your body suffers a loss so great, that it takes time to recover from it. You know your baby is here now and you love them, but your body mourns for the planning and the hope and just the overwhelming love and contentment your body felt while it was growing a new person.

The pain is not easily overcome. Modern medicine wants you to medicate away those feelings. I tried to embrace them and the journey that came with it. I have always tried to embrace life. Some people think I am crazy. But, I have never wanted to medicate or drink away life. I didn't use an epidural with the birth of either of my boys. Call me crazy, it wouldn't be the first time and won't be the last, but wanted to fully experience that experience. I considered a epidural with Cove, because I kind of wanted to experience things in a different way. However, I ultimately decided against it. And its a good thing, because I would have been numb for after his birth and probably not during. Both Brian and I don't consume alcohol. Which is odd, since my heritage is known for there drinking. But all things aside, I have always wanted to experience life to its fullest and not have something clouding the way I embrace it.

It hasn't been easy. But in the end, it has brought our family closer. I realized that I was hiding a part of myself to me, to my husband and to the world. I think this was God's way of giving me a good kick and reminding me what life is all about. Hopefully, I don't have to endure this same kick again. But if I need it, I guess I will have to embrace it.

I wasn't far of course, well I hope I wasn't. But, I came to realize that I wasn't welcoming God and all he has to offer into my heart like I used to. I also realized that I hadn't fully introduced Caedan to God. Sure, both the boys are baptized and we do attend church weekly. But I wasn't fully integrating Him into our lives. I kept Him in my life, but haven't fully shared Him with the boys. I was also able to rely on my husband for some things I desperately need in my life, yet hadn't known beforehand or I had unknowingly tucked them away. I like to think I wasn't purposely hiding myself. Maybe, I was. Who knows. But hopefully, I won't any longer.

Some parts of this journey have been truly scary. At some points I was truly afraid the end of the world was here and I wouldn't be able to watch my boys grow and learn. It scared me. I wanted those joys. Then, it made me realize that I won't always be here. This has bothered me since I can remember. I don't ever want to lose my babies and my family. Most days I couldn't cope because I felt like everyday was one day closer to the end. How am I supposed to raise them knowing this?

I truly enjoy every moment. I love hearing every silly thing Caedan says. I love teaching him and loving him. All things aside, I think I have done a good job so far. He is a loving, confident, smart young man, despite me. I love every moment of being a mother to my baby. I even love when he wakes up at night or in the wee hours of the morning because it allows me that extra time to love and hold him. Sometimes, I just want to live in this moment forever. Thankfully, my husband is here to remind me that this isn't what I really want. That I have said it before and that I am being selfish. I need to let them grow, love and learn just like I have had the opportunity to do and continue to do.

A lot of hurt has been in my life and mind for almost 6 months now. Hopefully, the pain is close to ending and we can move on. However, God has reminded me of a lot and blessed me with so much. Hopefully, I have heard Him correctly now. However, I have this feeling that I am still on the road to recovery.

My Husband Has No Shame...

In an attempt to make-up for his wrong decision, Brian had to take me to Panera for dinner and watch a Johnny Depp movie with me. He doesn't really like Panera anymore, so it was a semi-punishment, but mainly so that I could go to my comfort food. And well, the Johnny Depp movie, that speaks for itself!

Well, after having Panera last night for dinner, he suggests we go there for lunch today. Say what? Yes, my husband has no shame and will go to the same restaurant for back to back meals. Not even drive across town and go to the other Panera, but the same location as last night. I would like to state for the record that I did not influence this. He wanted a pre-concert meal of Panera. As much as I love Panera, I even asked if he is insane, while enjoying my lunch.

We are not like most families...

I accepted long ago that we are not like most families. I had to accept in during my childhood and then again in my adulthood.

I love our family structure and I am very grateful for it. Hopefully, one day Caedan and Cove will come to realize that they are very lucky to have not one, but TWO parents home FULL time. Yes, we have two parebts home at all times. I think this is part of the reason that the housework never gets done, but that's a whole different story.

When Brian was laid off almost 15 months ago, we were scared and worried. However, that might have been one of the best things that could have happened to our family. The long, frustrating commute Brian had is gone. The excessive time spent at work that could be spent with the family is gone. We welcomed more family time and free time in exchange.

I love that we are able to both provide for our family and be able to be an integral part of almost every moment. I am so happy and grateful for this and can't imagine it any other way.

FINALLY!

All is right in the world. We finally received a notice. They finally called us on our front yard and not having anything planted. We must weed and add flowers or shrubs to both the front and backyard plots. Now to find the cheapest and most low maintenance appeal possible. Someone please send Curb Appeal to my house.

Not sure Wether to Laugh or Cry

How do you know you partially failed on the parental front? When your three year old initiates a conversation where he mentions that food comes from restaurants. That we don't have food in our home. When you correct him and say yes, of course we have food in our home, silly. He retorts with, well yea, Raven has food in our home. DOH!

Yes, we eat out often. Much more, often than we should. However, we have food in our home. We also go to the grocery store at least weekly. He has even been to farms and the farmer's market. I like to chalk it up to him just being silly. He does, like to test us like that. But I guess we got the message... well maybe.

All is Right in the Neighborhood

The nicer weather has arrived. The neighbors are out and about and being neighborly again. Well, if you count walking pit bulls without leashes and kids parting just enough for your car to fit through.

However, we haven't received a HOA notice yet. I am shocked. It is almost mid-May and no notice yet! We have had our recycle bins on our doorstep for a good month or more and until recently our backyard looked like the amazon. Yet, no notice.

The pool opens soon, so hopefully that means less kids in the road and more kids on the opposite side of the neighborhood causing mischief and peeing in yards.

Who wrote this?

As we have already established, I love me some Panera. However, who wrote this article?

Beyond Cookies and MilkArticles
Let’s be honest: Cookies really don’t need to be paired with anything to taste great. But after hearing (and tasting) head baker Tom Gumpel’s surprising suggestions for what to sip with his latest creations, we had to share them with you. From our classic Chocolate Chipper to some of Tom’s new seasonal specials, here’s what to match with what - and, of course, dunk.

The Cookie: Toffee Nut Cookie
The Drink: Earl Grey Tea
Why They’re Perfect Together: “This tea is flavored with bergamot and its citrus notes work really well with the toasted nuts and rich caramel flavors in the toffee,” says Gumpel. “It’s complex and really good.”

The Cookie: Mint Chocolate Crinkle Cookie
The Drink: Peppermint Caffe Mocha
Why They’re Perfect Together: “Although they have similar flavor profiles, their contrasting textures and temperatures take this to another level,” he explains. “It’s a fantastic pairing.”

The Cookie: Gingerbread Man Cookie
The Drink: Gingerbread Latte
Why They’re Perfect Together: It’s the same strategy as with the previous combo: similar flavor profiles, but in two different forms. If you like gingerbread, this is a double shot.

The Cookie: Chocolate Chipper Cookie
The Drink: Low-Fat Strawberry Smoothie
Why They’re Perfect Together: Instead of dunking this traditional cookie in milk like everyone else does, Gumpel suggests enjoying it with a smoothie. “It’s a classic play on strawberries and chocolate that tastes almost like a sundae,” he says.

The Cookie: Shortbread
The Drink: Lemonade (or Pumpkin Spice Latte)
Why They’re Perfect Together: “Because this cookie is so buttery, it needs to be paired with a leaner drink,” Gumpel explains. “In warmer locales, a nice iced lemonade actually goes great with shortbread. But when it’s cold and you want to warm yourself, the caramel notes of the pumpkin latte complement it well.”

The Cookie: Oatmeal Raisin Cookie
The Drink: Low-Fat Black Cherry (or Wild Berry) Smoothie
Why They’re Perfect Together: “Oats and fruit always go well together,” say Gumpel.

Kid Favorite!
The Cookie: Sugar Cookie
The Drink: Hot Chocolate
Why They’re Perfect Together: This cookie has milk chocolate coated candies on top, so matching it with a steaming cup of hot chocolate that has whipped cream and a drizzle of chocolate syrup works really well. It’s not overpowering; it’s perfect.

(Taken from the Panera website: http://www.mypanera.com/storiestips-view.php?id=55)

I mean seriously? We already know that an unsweetened iced tea is the way to go, so these must be second choices or back-ups. Peppermint Mocha with a peppermint chocolate cookie? A Gingerbread Latte and gingerbread cookie? Talk about flavor overload. I mean we already know that an unsweetened iced tea is the way to go. Did a three old learning to match pick out the pairings? The explanations of the odd pairings are awesome too.

Dear, Dear Panera

I think my card is stuck like a broken record. Why am I only earning breakfast food? I JUST got rid of the free breakfast sandwich and soufflé a weekend or two ago. Now, I have 2 free breakfast sandwiches and a free soufflé again. What gives? I am not trying to sound ungrateful, but could I please earn something I want? Or will use? As in, something that doesn't require getting up at the crack of dawn to redeem. Thanks, your beloved patron.

Panera Update

I currently have a free breakfast card and a free soufflé waiting fir me on my My Panera card. These will have to wait for a time when I actually make it out of the house before 10:30. Hmm... Maybe after my 6 week visit that is stupidly scheduled for 8:15!

Another way to get free stuff at Panera is to have a 3 year old who sneaks his hand in between the counter and glass to touch the tray of cookies. I did not tell him his efforts were rewarded... But at least I will get a treat after a long day of a three old starting his terrible twos.